How to Make a Friend Fall in Love with You


It's not uncommon for people to fall in love for their close friends, but if you've fallen for one of your friends, getting that same friend to fall for you in return can be a challenge. While there's no way to guarantee a change in someone else's feelings, there are a few things you can do to increase the odds of making a friend fall in love with you. For instance, dropping hints about your feelings, becoming a shoulder to lean on, and knowing when to back off can all encourage your friend to start viewing you in a more romantic context.

Part 1

 on How to Make a Friend Fall in Love with You

1
Not just any other friend, become someone that they couldn't live without, someone who listens to all their problems and always helps out when times get hard. You need to establish a connection like no other, something that neither of you could live without. Becoming fast friends is all about giving her a sense of trust. If she trusts you, she'll be more likely to give you chance when it comes to love. Open up. Tell her about yourself: your dreams, wishes, and sorrows. It's possible for love to grow where there previously wasn't any, but she has to think of you as a person with real goals, successes, and problems instead of just a friend. The more she's able to see parts of you that others don't see, the better off you'll be.[1] Make the person feel special. Let her know that she is someone's friend - your friend - and that you value her in a unique way. Compliment her for her company and for being there when you needed her, times when you felt sad and all alone. Show appreciation for the comfort the person offers you and for making you smile. Always dream with her, build with her, and always cheer her on and encourage her.[2]

 on How to Make a Friend Fall in Love with You

2
Before you two get too close and pass the "I love you as a friend" line or become too much of a brotherly figure, you need to give her hints that you might like her more than as a friend. Simple harmless flirts, comments, something that would make her tell you that you're sweet, but also make her think a moment longer about the comment and wonder if there is another deeper meaning to it all.[3] This is very tough to do with words, because you don't want to make her think you're friends just in order to get in a relationship. In the beginning, stick to flirting with your body. Don't pass up that chance to sit shoulder-to-shoulder with her. Look her in the eye, and smile a lot. If you're really comfortable with her, try tickling her (on her sides or under her arms) or giving her a piggyback ride.[4] Gradually move on to flirting with words. Tell her how much you admire her. Tell her how special she is to you. Tell her she makes your day easier to get through. But remember, a little hinting goes a long, long way! If you're gushing to her every twenty minutes, she could begin to feel uncomfortable as friends and start to distance herself from you.

 on How to Make a Friend Fall in Love with You

3
Be someone whom they can always turn to for reliable advice. If you're there when times get rough, and help her through them, she'll look at you like a problem-solver and trust you more. You'll also be someone she feels safe and secure around.

 on How to Make a Friend Fall in Love with You

4
When you notice hints coming from her end, you know you're getting somewhere. If your hints haven't really gotten through to her, however, try not to be so subtle. Being more obvious can be helpful because some girls are used to being flirted with. Get her one-on-one. This one's important. If you never see her when it's just the two of you, work toward that goal. The trick is to make it not look like a date when you ask her, but feel like a date when she gets there. Tell her you're in Starbucks studying and you want an awesome girl to distract you from your work instead of "Hey, do you wanna get coffee later on, just you and me?" Make her a mix-tape of your favorite music. The music you listen to shows her a whole other side of you; it helps her to understand you better. It also sends her a subtle message that you enjoy sharing personal things with her. Be sure to include music that you think she might like. You could be setting yourself up for a fall if she only listens to Beethoven and you give her Metallica. After you give her your mix, ask her to make one for you.

 on How to Make a Friend Fall in Love with You

5
[5] Try backing off a little. This can be important because it lets her know what she's missing when she doesn't see you. It might make her think about all the ways you make her life fuller, richer, more enjoyable. She'll be eager to see you in no time. When you're sure that you are getting somewhere, back off a little. If you see her everyday, avoid her for two days or so, no contact! She will end up missing you and really understanding how deeply she feels for you. But make sure you have a valid reason for being away when she asks. You don't want to be caught in a lie, or look like you're avoiding her on purpose. If you think it might work, try hanging out with another girl for a day, just to pique her interest. Girls are attracted to men who get along with lots of attentive women. The goal here isn't to make her super jealous. The goal is to make her think that girls like being around you, and that you have lots of different options when it comes to women.

 on How to Make a Friend Fall in Love with You

6
Don't worry about what friends say she feels about you, because, as we all know, information can get distorted. It's like a game of telephone. She tells something to her other friend, who tells it to a completely different friend, who gossips to her acquaintance, and pretty soon the message has changed completely from what it originally was. Tune out any noise that isn't coming directly from her. Be persistent and continue to do fun things with her. Studies show that doing something exciting, daring, or adventurous together helps release a chemical (called norepinephrine) in her body and yours that is associated with romantic feelings. So don't listen to what her friends or your friends say, and bring her to Six Flags, that haunted house, or an exciting game — anything that might cause her to jump, scream, or wriggle with excitement.

 on How to Make a Friend Fall in Love with You

7
If you're sure you want to take the relationship further, tell her. Remember, only do this if you're okay with the possibility of losing a friend; it can get very awkward and uncomfortable if she knows that you want a relationship and she doesn't feel the same way about you. Because what you're doing is risking a friendship to get a relationship. Some girls will be mad at you for doing this. You might not be friends after you tell her. If you are sure, you need to tell her. Be honest with her and explain your feelings. You can say something like: "I've really valued our friendship these past couple months, and have grown to see how special of a person you are, and how alive you make me feel inside. I value our friendship over everything, but I really like you. I can't hide my feelings for you anymore. Would you go on a date with me?" Give her an out. Let her know that it's okay if she doesn't feel the same way, and that you can take it. You want her honest opinion, not her sugarcoated idea of what you want her to say. If you give her an out by saying "I know you may not feel the same way about me, and I respect that," it could go a long way to saving the friendship if she doesn't want to pursue a relationship. And if she does want a relationship, it will reinforce to her how sweet and respectful you are when it comes to her. Don't get too emotional. Whatever you do, don't break down. Emotions are powerful things, and she might think that you're using your emotions to manipulate her, causing her to distance herself from the situation. If you get emotional, she'll tend to pity you and revert back to the friend-zone that you want to try to get away from. Stay stoic, even if you're boiling up inside. Smile at her, regardless of what she says, and be as happy as possible.